empty nest syndrome

"Empty Nest Syndrome refers to the feelings of depression, sadness, or grief experienced by parents and caregivers after their children come of age and leave their childhood homes. This may occur when children go to college or get married. Women are more likely than men to be affected with this syndrome as when the nest is emptying, mothers are going through other significant life events as well, such as menopause or caring for elderly parents. Yet this does not mean that men are completely immune to Empty Nest Syndrome. Men also can experience similar feelings of loss regarding the departure of their children."

Empty Nest Syndrome is not a term that you will find in many medical text books, but it has become a useful ‘label’ or tag for the feelings of sadness and loss, which many individuals experience when their children fly the nest or away from home.

In oversea, this syndrome it is most commonly happened in autumn, when the vast numbers of teenagers will go to college or university. But, in our country it can also happen when a child gets married, because matrimony is a clear signal that parents are no longer needed in the ways they once were.

Actually, it is natural for a parent to feel some sadness when the children leave home. Indeed, it is normal to have a little weep now and again – or even go into the absent child's bedroom and sit there for a while in an attempt to feel closer to him or her. There is a successful, busy and confident woman who admitted she used to go into her son's bedroom to sniff his dirty T-shirt and have a little cry, after he left for university for the first time. It is not an ashamed feeling that one should not revealed, but it happen to almost most parents.

However, if the parents experience severe symptoms such as they feel that their useful life has ended when their children is no longer stay at home and be with them, they were crying excessively, especially the mothers that make them do not want to go and mix with their friend and sometimes, they even do not want to go to works. They are very sad and for those who experienced these symptoms, they need to go to counseling session as it will continued for a longer time and resulted in a very bad condition.

In this kind of situation, what seems to happen is that the child's departure unleashes seriously depressed feelings, and these probably need treating. If it is not being treated early, it will cause a lot of trouble and become less productive. So, going to meet a counselor will lighten the burden and also help the parent to overcome and control their emotions and get the feeling into good perspective. 

One the other hand, one good thing to do is to lean on your friends – particularly if they have experienced ‘empty nest syndrome’ themselves at some point. The parents can always ask for advices and any other solutions from their friends regarding this problem. This can make them to feel more relief and calm to face any consequences. They can always exchange their feeling and information on how to curb their sadness from being too much and it will let themselves suffered without any limit.       

  However, many parents especially the mothers are work these days; therefore they will feel less emptiness when their children leave home. Also, an increasing number of adult children between 25 and 34 are now living with their parents at home. According to psychologist, Allan Scheinberg, they note that these "boomerang kids" want the "limited responsibility of childhood and the privileges of adulthood." But, the children may also return home due to economics, divorce, extended education, drug or alcohol problems or temporary transitions.

Although they are working, but at the end of the day, they will feel the emptiness in their life as they are retired and stay at home without doing anything. During their work days, they have little time to spend with their family, so when it come to their retiree days, they will want their children to be with them.            

Therefore, the Empty Nest Syndrome is very common to attack our community without looking at what their races and religions. Everyone have the same or equal chances to get this syndrome as they grew older. Parents need to physically and mentally prepare to face this syndrome. As for the children, please spend your time more with parents where there is time and space. Once the children move to another phase in their life, whether be in working field or marriage, those opportunities to be with parents will slowly diminished regard to time limitations.


P/s : TK rasa, mak ayah kita nanti jadi macam tu tak agak2? hmm. luangkan masa bersama mereka selagi terdaya. Assalamualaikum.